OUR LAST SESSION & SOME THOUGHTS ON BEING APART

As I told here, this spring will be very different both for me and for us, because I will be abroad around 5-6 months. I have just moved into a new country and I’m feeling quite confused. We had our last night together with H on Wednesday before I left. Even though we had agreed beforehand that we will try to spend as nice evening as we only can, I was still worried that our last night will be spent in very sad feelings, because I have been very sad for a long time about the fact that I’m leaving. However, we managed to spend a very very nice evening together; it was a perfect evening in many ways for saying goodbyes. In the end of the evening we had the most beautiful sex session, a session that I will remember for a long time. What made the session so special was that I felt so strongly connected to H that it is very difficult to explain with any words. I love that kind of feeling with H and I was very happy that we could have that kind of session just before I left. At the end of the session when H came into my mouth I cried and felt very emotional. Crying in this context is nothing new to me; I have cried many times before when I have got an orgasm, but this was the first time when I got tears in my eyes after he came into my mouth. 

In addition to having a beautiful session on that night, we managed to finalise our agreement and sign it too, which felt very good. I even brought my own copy with me here. I’m sure that H will write more about our agreement here later. This situation of being apart from each other for a longer time is new to both of us and we will naturally try to adapt to the situation as well as we only can. We have been talking for example that I’d have some daily routines here, but H hasn’t decided yet what they could be. I’m also wearing my day collar all the time that actually feels very comforting and important to me, especially, when being in a situation like this (I miss H like crazy!). H gave me a beautiful day collar in Christmas time and back then my feelings towards wearing it all the time were quite mixed. However, now I feel happy to wear it, because it makes me think about H and I actually feel very proud to wear it too – I feel proud of being his girl.

Deep down I know that we will manage this challenge of being apart, but at the moment it makes me feel very bad and sad and I cannot stop thinking about if it was a very bad decision of me to go abroad. I have been here only two days so I also know that the reason why I feel so bad is related to the fact that my life here hasn’t really started yet. I’m also very happy that we are able to see each other during the time that I’m away, because it’s good to bear in mind that the situation could be even worse! I just hope that I will feel better about being here in a while and that we are able to find a solution where we both can feel good throughout this time…

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