H wrote in his last post how our time apart will come to an end in less than two weeks when my time abroad ends and I will move back home again after nearly six months of being away from there. This means that we can be normally together again and we can start exploring the aspect of everyday D/s in our relationship, which is something that we both want. We have been discussing the topic together and in his last post H wrote about some of his ideas of how everyday D/s could be present in our relationship. I really look forward to moving back home and starting to explore the everyday D/s together. Actually I’m very curious and very excited about it!
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I actually crave for the everyday D/s to begin and that has also surprised me a little. I cannot wait to start exploring what will work for us and what will not. Since I’m rather new in the lifestyle I have been thinking a lot about how it now feels so natural to me and how I want to explore it all the time more and more. Being together with H and exploring BDSM has actually explained many things to me from my past relationships and what I would have wanted back then but I couldn’t connect it to that.
Most of the ideas that we have been talking about everyday D/s are non-sexual, but the more we talk about them I notice myself getting turned on about the various ideas. This is extremely interesting topic to me, because I feel that when we will start exploring it properly, I’m sure I will learn many new things about myself. In addition, it’s also interesting how I sometimes react to these things. For example, sometimes when H suggests me something I can be first completely against the idea, but when I have got a little time to think about it, it can turn out to be something that I really like.
At the moment I don’t have any concrete ideas of what I would really like to be part of our everyday D/s. Even though H is the one who will mainly decide about these things, he has still told me that if I have any wishes I can tell about them to him any time. And since everyday D/s has not played a proper role in our relationship yet, we will agree together on the things that we are going to try out. H never forces me to do things that I oppose. There have been some thoughts on my mind lately regarding everyday D/s and I have been thinking that are they just my fantasies at the moment or something that I would really like to try out. More importantly, I have started to think about the reasons behind my thoughts and where do those thoughts come from. For example, when we have been talking about everyday D/s with H, he suggested once that he might want that I would for example kneel in front of a dinner table and ask his permission to sit in the table or to kneel in the bedroom and ask his permission to come to bed. When I heard this for the first time my reaction wasn’t very positive. First I thought that it would be very humiliating, especially the idea of kneeling in the kitchen before being allowed to sit in the table. However, this specific suggestion has been a lot on my mind lately and the more I think about it the more I’m attracted by the idea. I’m even getting a bit wet when I’m thinking about the idea at the moment. I would consider that having a routine like that (or something similar) in our bedroom would be a good way to start and see how it feels like. I haven’t even told about this specific thing to H yet.
Other specific thing that has been on my mind lately is that H would also want that later on I would wear only his panties (= panties that he has chosen for me). At the moment I’ve got a few pairs of panties that he has bought for me and usually he wants me to wear them when we are together. H’s taste concerning panties is: the smaller the better. However, what comes to my underwear, panties are the thing that he really cares about. He doesn’t have any specific taste what kind of bras or other underwear I should wear – panties are the thing. Sometimes I would really like him to decide that I should wear some specific kind of underwear for him and now I don’t mean only panties. Lately I have been also thinking that I might want him to decide sometimes what I would wear. Maybe not pointing out specific clothes but more like setting me guidelines of what I should wear. We both know that at least at the moment this could not happen on a daily basis, because I like to have the freedom of deciding what I wear, because I’m pretty precise with that.
I know that H might be quite surprised when he will read all this and I don’t know myself either where these thoughts really come from. We are living interesting times. I’m sure we will write a lot more about the topic later on when we will start exploring all this for real :)
x miss L